💩 Potty Training 💩

Without Losing Your Mind (or Your Carpet)

Greg Burke
June 16, 2025

Step-by-step guidance, plus what to do when you think you’ve failed

(spoiler: you haven’t)

Let’s talk about one of the least glamorous parts of having a dog: potty training—or as I like to call it, “The Great Carpet Crisis”.

Whether you’ve got a wide-eyed puppy with a bladder the size of a thimble or a rescue dog adjusting to indoor living, the good news is: this is totally figure-out-able. The bad news? You might be washing a few rugs along the way. But don’t panic—I've got you covered.

🚽 Step 1: Pick a Potty Spot

Dogs thrive on consistency (unlike a toddler, who changes cereal preferences hourly). Pick a designated potty area outside and always bring your dog to that exact spot. Let them sniff, circle, recite Shakespeare—whatever they need to do.

Then, when they go, praise them like they just landed a rocket on Mars. Seriously. Be enthusiastic. Treats, high-pitched squeals, interpretive dance—go all in.

⏰ Step 2: Follow the Schedule

Bladders have timetables. Young puppies usually need to go:

First thing in the morning
After meals
After naps
After play
Every 1–2 hours in between

If you think “there’s no way he has to pee again,” he probably does.

Set a timer if you have to. You’ll feel like a weird little bathroom concierge—but hey, it works.

🏠 Step 3: Supervise Like a Helicopter Parent

If your dog is out and about in the house, you’re watching them. Not kinda watching. Actually watching. If you can’t supervise, they go in a crate or a safe, enclosed space where they’re less likely to potty.

Crates work because dogs don’t like to soil where they sleep. (Unless the crate is too big, in which case, they’ll make a “pee wing.”)

😳 What About Accidents?

They’ll happen. Trust me. The most important rule: don’t punish them. Dogs don’t connect your reaction to the accident after the fact. Yelling, rubbing noses, or dramatic Oscar-worthy guilt trips just teach them to hide it better next time. (Behind the couch like my kid! —don’t ask.)

Instead:

Clean the spot thoroughly with an enzymatic cleaner to remove the scent.
Ask yourself, “Did I miss a cue? Was it past time?”
Try again. You’re learning each other’s rhythms.

💡 Pro Tips That Saved My Sanity:

Use a cue phrase (like “Go potty!”) right before they do their business. They’ll start to associate the command with the act. It’s basically canine hypnosis.
Limit water before bed but never withhold it entirely.
Celebrate dry nights like they’re Nobel Prize-worthy.

🎉 The Potty Light at the End of the Tunnel

Potty training can feel like a full-time job, but I promise—it ends. One day, you’ll realize it’s been weeks since the last “incident,” and your rugs are safe again.

Remember, if your dog has an “accident”, you haven’t failed. Your dog isn’t broken. And no, that puddle wasn’t personal (probably).

Take a breath, stock up on treats and cleaner, and keep going.

You’ve got this—and hey, if your dog is anything like mine, they’re probably already training you. 😅